spank you very much foodporn

(sometimes there’s no plot…jus…stream of thought)

My brothers are at the gym playing basketball and I can hear the rest of my family downstairs getting ready for dinner at the table. I am upstairs packing my pipe full of weed my dealer called ‘blue cheese’ and inhale.

Blue cheese, that sounds disgusting.

And exhale.

My uncle’s voice at the bottom of the stairs is calling my name and announcing, food is ready! And inhale.

Food, that sounds disgusting.

And exhale. That’s not only an odd statement its darn right offensive to some. I don’t really care for food…

why? well… that’s a different story…

but everyone and their fat cat is crazy about food. They watch tv shows about food. Buy books about food.

Take pictures of food.

That’s just damn ridiculous. What would a person do with a bunch of food pictures?

Imagine walking into someone house for the first time, they seem welcoming and warm until you come across the first framed pictures of food hanging on the wall…followed by another and another…

Pictures they took, of food they ate.

That might be a little on the weird side for me.

And i like weird. 

But these food-photography-amateurs exist. Everywhere.

So, what to do with all this pictures of food? let’s just post em on the internet. Great idea!

Wanna see this picture of really bomb chocolate cake I ate?

No asshole, invite me over for some real chocolate cake.

Pictures are for looking at. food is for eating.


ooook…That last sentence made me feel highly intelligent.

keep going writing, dont end on a dumb note….

why would I or anyone EVER wanna to look at a picture of something that was designed for us to eat but cant?…And i AM gonna mention that  this digital moment, frozen in time, is of the exact moment before you shoved whatever yummy treat into your mouth.

we dont even have meals together and i know what you had for dinner last night and lunch the next day.

so, spank you very much (hashtag) foodporn.



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