I was just lost. and drawn to all the wrong things, just coping and floating, I settled into a quiet nothingness; a non-interesting human being of…whatever.
because I was lazy.
because I didn’t have a role model.
because I didn’t have a god.
because I didn’t feel love….or whatever.
Alcohol will hold your hand in a hurtful way.
I did consider the pros and cons,
and physical sickness for some emotional relief,
fine by me. Pouring myself a drink,
the cycle is this…
you drink when something bad happens, you drink when something good happens, and you drink when nothing happens.
and you most definitely and most always, drink yourself into lonely dreams.
It’s not always quite so obvious…
how predictable it really is,
and how dull it can become.
But maybe our self-manifested madness and sadness will break away,
slowly and softly,
like navigating to a happy place, and just getting lost on stormy days.